Changing Her Mind
by afterglow745
Summary: Lily Evans has given up on love. Can James change her mind, desite the fact that they're arch enemies? Rated PG-13 for possible later chapters ::BETTER THAN SUMMARY:: Chapter Seven up!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: This stuff isn't mine. Period. It's the amazing JK Rowling's. Don't sue me, because you won't get very much. I swear. Oh and the lyrics to "Nobody's Home" are Avril Lavigne's.

Lily Evans had given up on love. At the age of seventeen, and soon to be going into her seventh and final year at Hogwarts, she had decided that she was sick of it. Love was the cause of all things bad. She was upstairs in her room, which looked the same as it did seven years ago, because she was hardly ever home. Lily was the perfect student, who also happened to have the voice of an angel, and seemingly the body of one, too. With shiny crimson hair long enough to rival Dumbledore's, and the perfect figure, she was gorgeous. Lily also liked to sing, however, she didn't like people to hear her. Only her best friend Amelia Bones had ever heard Lily sing. Amelia had dark brown hair, almost black, and wore tiny glasses. They were both in Gryffindor house, along with three boys that Lily deeply detested: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and James Potter. They were known as the Marauders, and their favorite past time was to play evil and sometimes dangerous pranks on unsuspecting victims. Lily seemed to constantly be at war with James, the leader of their trio. But Lily wasn't thinking about them right now. She was thinking about the worst moment of her life. It had happened last year, the day after Valentine's Day, and still brought tears of hurt and anger to her eyes, almost seven months later.

She thought back to the previous year, during one of her many rows with James.

"Stop yelling, Potter! Maybe if you'd deflate that big head of yours, you'd be able to see that some of us are trying to study for our exams!" Lily shouted at him from across the common room.

"_Well I'm sorry, Little-Miss-Hush-Hush! Maybe I already finished studying for my exams, but have nothing else to do!" James yelled back at Lily._

"_You have **not** already studied, because you've never studied for an exam in your life! Your detentions take up too much time!" shouted Lily, very red in the face._

"_Well I'm sorry we can't all be as perfect as you, Evans! Go take your perfect life somewhere else!" James shouted._

He thought her life was perfect. Perfect, huh? Was he used and then thrown out like old news during his first serious relationship? Did he have a sister who talked of nothing but her ugly boyfriend, Vernon, and cussed her out every time they were alone in a room together? And now, yet another responsibility: Head girl. She'd gotten the letter this morning, and though she was proud of such a title, she couldn't help but think: Great. More responsibility, and more work. Troubled as she was, she couldn't help but wonder: who's Head Boy? McGonagal hadn't said in the letter. Oh well. It'd be a surprise, and hopefully, a good one. Fed up with her life, Lily did the only reasonable thing she could think of: soundproof the walls of her room using a charm, and put on a CD to sing along to. It helped every time. She chose Avril Lavigne, and put on "Nobody's Home."

**I couldn't tell you**

**Why she felt that way**

**She felt it every day**

**And I couldn't help her**

**I just watched her make**

**The same mistakes again**

**What's wrong, what's wrong now**

**Too many, too many problems**

**Don't know where she belongs**

**Where she belongs**

**:Chorus:**

**She wants to go home**

**But nobody's home**

**That's where she lies**

**Broken inside**

**With no place to go**

**No place to go**

**To dry her eyes**

**Broken inside**

**Open your eyes**

**And look outside**

**Find the reasons why**

**You've been rejected**

**Now you can't find**

**Whatever you've left behind**

**Be strong, be strong now**

**Too many, too many problems**

**Don't where she belongs**

**Where she belongs**

**:Chorus:**

**Her feelings she hides**

**Her dreams she can't find**

**She's losing her mind**

**She's falling behind**

**She can't find her place**

**She's losing her faith**

**She's fallen from grace**

**She's all over the place yeah**

**:Chorus:**

**She's lost inside, lost inside**

**She's lost inside, lost inside.**

Now in her pajamas, Lily finished the last few notes of the song, and drifted off to sleep.

_Please review and look for a new chapter coming soon! Much love, Anniebelle_


	2. And The Head Boy IS

_Disclaimer: This is JK Rowling's, not mine. DUH! If I was her, I wouldn't be wasting my time on this, but seeing as this is NOT her, and as I have nothing better else to do, I AM wasting my time on this. (Well, hopefully to you it's not a TOTAL waste of time...)_

A/N: Hey!!! OMG I'm sooo excited! I got my first reviews today!!!! I wanna say thanks ever sooo much to those of you who reviewed! I love you all! So, on behalf of you guys, here is the second chapter, which hopefully is longer than the first!

**And The Head Boy IS...**

The next morning, Lily dressed quickly, so that she could make it to Platform 9 ¾ with time to spare. Having awoken after another sleepless night of recalling January 15th in her dreams, Lily was a bit grumpy, and was anxious to get out of this house at last.

After greeting Amelia on Platform 9 ¾, Lily bid goodbye to her parents. She and Amelia found an empty compartment once on the train, and it was then that Lily heard the horrible news form her best friend.

"You know Sirius Black? Well, over the holidays, his brother threatened him. His brother was something called a Death Eater, or a supporter of that Dark guy, Lord Voldeyhorts of whatever. Anyway, he killed Sirius's parents, and then rounded on him. Sirius escaped okay, but imagine that! His own mum and dad, murdered in front of him by his own sibling! Oh, and then after Sirius escaped, some of Lord whoever's other followers killed his brother! My dad had to go and investigate. Said it was awful. Sirius's parent's blood was everywhere from trying to duel with his brother," Amelia finished, shaking her head.

"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Lily. "Was Sirius okay?"

"Yeah, pretty much. But I imagine it must be horrible."

"Where did he stay?" asked Lily.

"Supposedly at the Potter's," answered Amelia.

"Wow," finished Lily.

Then, an announcement came over the intercom.

"Would the Head Boy and Girl please report to compartment number eleven," said the voice.

"Oh!" exclaimed Lily. "Duty calls!"

"Good luck!" said Amelia.

Lily headed down the hallway to compartment eleven, and slid open the door. Inside was Professor McGonagal and James Potter. Lily assumed he had just gotten into trouble.

"Hello, Miss Evans. Now, since you two will be working together quite often this school year-"

"Wait!" shouted Lily. "Not him!" she said, looking at James.

"Has he got you in on yet another joke on me? Because this one isn't funny either, Potter!" said Lily, scandalized.

"Miss Evans! This is by no means a joke of any kind. Mr. Potter is the Head Boy," said Professor McGonagal. Lily's jaw dropped. James just grinned.

"Now, as I was saying..." continued the Professor, but Lily wasn't listening.

-James? James Potter? Please, Lord, kill me now, before he has a chance to!- thought Lily.

"Lily? Lily?!" said James, waving his hand in front of Lily. McGonagal had left the compartment.

"What?" Lily spat rudely, grabbing James's wrist on the hand he was still waving in front of her face.

"C'mon. We have to patrol the hallway. Didn't you hear McGonagal?" he asked, looking worried. "Are you okay?"

"I- I'm fine. Let's go," Lily replied, getting up from where she'd been sitting.

-Why's he so concerned about me? Since when does he care?- Lily asked herself. What puzzled Lily even more was how quiet he was during their patrol. He didn't seem to be himself. Worst of all was when they ran into Severus Snape, a skinny boy in their year with the greasiest hair you'd ever seen, and a hooked nose. James and Snape were sworn enemies, and the fact that Snape was a Slytherin and James a Gryffindor didn't help matters. Snape had just come out of his compartment when he saw them.

"Oh look- it's Bighead Potter and his Mudblood girlfriend! How cute- they're on patrol together!" said Snape evilly. Lily looked at James, who just rolled his eyes.

"What's the matter, Potty? Scared?" sneered Snape, pulling out his wand to curse James.

"Ranir Fle—"started Snape, going to turn James into a fly when Lily stepped in front of James, protecting him, because he was just standing there.

"Expeliarmous!" shouted Lily, jumping up to catch Snape's wand.

"25 points from Slytherin. Now get back in your safe little compartment where you belong, Snape," said Lily, her voice dripping with unseen venom. Snape muttered something incoherent under his breath as he turned to return to his compartment.

"Oh, and Snape?" said Lily. "We're not a couple, and never will be," she finished. Snape shut the door, still muttering.

It was then that something else changed in James. He realized that he really never would get Lily Evans. He'd had his eyes on her since 5th year, but with all of the recent events, he was losing hope. This was the last straw, his last chance. And she'd just said it, the one thing he prayed she'd never say. '... and we never will be.' Echoed in his head. James sighed loudly.

"What's wrong?" asked Lily.

This is what was happening constantly now. First Quidditch had lost it's excitement, then pranking, then Lily. The only thing that kept him going was Sirius. He needed him right now. James knew he had to keep being strong. For Sirius.

"Hmm?" said James.

"First you're all concerned about me, and then you ignored Snape! He was about to hex you!" she said.

"Lily, I am rally not in the mood to argue right now. Please," he said, giving her an exasperated look. Lily sighed and rolled he eyes.

"And now, here is your private dormitory. Miss Evans, to the right; Mr. Potter, to the left. I bid you good night. Oh, and congratsulations," finished Professor Dumbledore, the new headmaster. Lily yawned, and collapsed onto a chair in their shared living area, which was like a smaller version of the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Well, I'm off to bed. Night, Lily," said James in a tired voice.

"Night," replied Lily. She headed up the stairs on the right to go to her bedroom. She also had a private bathroom, as did James. Too tired to shower tonight, Lily climbed into her pajamas, and put on her LeAnn Rimes CD, falling asleep to "Suddenly."

**It's Independence Day, I'm free**

**And it's a strange place to be**

**I'm gonna break these chains**

**Unleash the changes in me**

**I see an endless road**

**I feel the restless wind**

**I've lost the fear inside**

**Cause I've got no choice **

**But to live or die**

**:Chorus:**

**Suddenly you're in this fight alone**

**Steppin out into the great unknown**

**And the night's the hardest time**

**When the doubts run through your mind**

**Cause suddenly you find yourself alone**

**Suddenly you find yourself**

**In an empty room**

**With a suitcase on the floor**

**It'll be daylight soon**

**I'm gonna wage my private war**

**Who's watching over me**

**Must be a guardian angel**

**I just need time to breathe**

**And give my life**

**The best of me**

**:Chorus:**

**Suddenly you're in this fight **

**Stepping out and then**

**:Chorus:**

**Suddenly you're in this fight alone**

**Steppin out into the great unknown**

**And the night's the hardest time**

**When the doubts run through your mind**

**Cause suddenly you find yourself alone**

**Suddenly I found myself**

A/N Ok!! Whew! Well that's probably all for right now, as I won't have time to post another chapter over the weekend. I'll try, but no promises!! Please review, and thanks! Lots of luv, Anniebelle


	3. Use My Shoulder

A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry this chapter has to be so short, but I'm babysitting right now and have nothing else better to do, so I thought I'd post some more!

_Disclaimer: You know the drill. It's not mine. Sorry to disappoint you. Oh and the song is JoJo's._

Use My Shoulder

Over the next 2 ½ weeks, things were pretty much the same as every year. This year, teachers spent extra time lecturing about exams, as this year, they would be taking their N.E.W.T.'s. Lily found herself becoming encreasingly worried about James, much to her dismay. He was very quiet, but when he spoke to her, it was as if they were good friends. But most of all, there wasn't a back-to-school prank. Every year since their first, the Marauders had played a prank during the first two weeks of term. But this year, there wasn't one. Lily had been listening to JoJo's "Use My Shoulder", and it prompted her so ask him about it one day after class as he was doing his homework.

**Hey, what's your story**

**Hate to see ya looking worried**

**You know you can tell me**

**Cause I am understanding**

"James?" Lily asked, trying to be friendly.

"Hmmm?" he replied, not looking up from the essay he was writing.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she said hesitantly.

**Would you mind sharing**

**What's bothering your happiness**

**Turn that from upside down**

**What's with all this madness**

"Sure. What about?" James said as he scooted over on the couch so she could sit next to him.

"Er... are you... um... feeling alright?"

**Is there something I should know**

**Is there something I should know**

**Cause I feel like you should have some hope**

**Cause I feel like you should have some hope**

"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"

"Well, erm, you and the rest of the Marauders haven't...well, seemed up to speed lately."

"Er, we haven't?"

**Well if things don't go your way**

**Use my shoulder to lean on**

**If things don't go your way**

**Use my pillow to lay on**

**If things don't go your way**

**Use my shoulder to cry on**

**That's what friends are for**

"No... well... everyone knows it's your tradition to pull a prank of some sort during the first two weeks back... and, uh, you haven't."

"Oh. Well, we've been, er, rather preoccupied lately."

**Take your time, clear your mind**

**You know I am here for you**

**Don't be scared, pour out your heart**

**I'll be there wherever you want**

"Does it have anything to do with... what happened over the summer?"

"Yeah," said James heavily.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Lily. Her heart went out to him at the look on his face.

**You can tell me**

**You know you can trust me **

**Baby, I'll listen to you**

**And everything you're going through**

**You know I will, I will**

"It was hard. When he came to stay at my house... he was so upset. I tried to comfort him... but, in a way, they were like my second parents," said James very slowly, in a low voice. Lily took his hand in hers, comforting him. She wasn't quite sure why he was telling her this, but she was glad he was.

"We've been mates since, well, forever. And I spent so much time over there. At his house..." James drifted off.

"It's okay. But Sirius needs you right now, James," said Lily. "He needs you to be strong... he has to be feeling worse than you," offered Lily in a soothing voice.

"Yeah," said on other things. Like Quidditch,"

"Yeah... okay," said James, finally meeting Lily's eyes. She dropped his hand immediately, feeling uncomfortable.

"Thanks. I mean it, Lily," he said.

"I'm here for you, James," she said softly, before she headed upstairs so take a long, hot shower in the safety of her bedroom.

**Well if things don't go your way**

**Use my shoulder to lean on**

**If things don't go your way **

**Use my pillow to lay on**

**If things don't go your way**

**Use my shoulder to cry on**

**That's what friends are for.**

****

Thanks, and don't forget to review! Please? I'll forever be thankful. I promise! More soon! much luv, Anniebelle


	4. Letting It All Hang Loose

_Disclaimer: Argh! I'm sick of this already, and it's only my 4th chapter! Well just in case you forgot, this is NOT JK Rowling. Geez, you'd think some people would get the point already! And the songs are Christina Aguilera's, JoJo's, Lillix's, and Kimberly Locke's._

A/N: Hey!!! Ok, I promise this chapter will be long because I couldn't post over the weekend. Just for you guys!

**Broken Fairytales**

The next morning, Lily discovered that there was a Hogsmeade day tomorrow. Amelia and three other Gryffindor girls, Leah, Ana, and Lexie, decided to have a girl's night out. Since they were 7th years, they could stay out until 12:00 AM on Hogsmeade days. They were going to party, and let it all hang loose. Lily didn't care, for once, what anyone thought of her. All of the girls spent the morning up in Lily's room because it was the biggest, getting ready.

Leah decided on a ruby-red, V-cut halter top, and tight jeans, with her hair up. Leah was totally down-to-earth, and trustworthy. Ana, with her dark Indian complexion and wavy black hair, wore a long white skirt with a slit up to mid thigh, and a dark plum-colored tank top. Ana was the most popular girl at Hogwarts, but she was still one of the most fun-to-hang-with girls you'd ever meet. Lexie was bold, confident, and outgoing. She wore a silver t-shirt with a red, broken heart on the front, and a short red skirt. Amelia, dressed in black Capri's, with an orange camisole, and Lily wore an emerald green, sparkly halter top, and black, boot-cut jeans. The top brought out the color of her mysterious almond-shaped eyes. A bit of sparkly lip gloss, and they were set. The 5 girls spent the afternoon shopping, and then headed over to Purple Stars nightclub. Lexie requested Christina Aguilera's "Can't Hold Us Down" on the karaoke machine, and Leah, Ana, and Lexie sang along to it.

"**Call me a bitch cause I speak what's on my mind**

**Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled**

**When a female fires back, suddenly big talker don't know how to act**

**So he does what any little boy would do**

**Makin up a few false rumors or two**

**That for sure is not a man to me**

**Slanderin names for popularity**

**It's sad you only get your fame through controversy**

**But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say!**

**This is for my girls all around the world**

**When you come across a man who don't respect your worth**

**Thinkin all women should be seen, not heard**

**What do we do girls?**

**Shout out loud!**

**Let'n em know we're gonna stand our ground**

**So lift your hands high and wave em proud**

**Take a deep breath and say it loud**

**Never can, never will**

**Can't hold us down!"**

They had all the girls in the crowd screaming and going wild until the end of the song. Then it was Lily and Amelia's turn on the karaoke stage. They decided to perform the song that they lived by, or rather loved by: JoJo's "Fairy Tales."

"**:Spoken:**

**You know the story**

**You read the books**

**Boy meets girl**

**And they fall forever in love**

**But, I know better**

**So here goes a tale**

**The realest of the real**

**Listen**

**:Sung:**

**Now once upon a time in a small world**

**It was everything that I dreamed of**

**He was my gem and I was his pearl**

**Nothing could come between us**

**A prince charming to call my own**

**Until the day that he broke my heart**

**And left me wanderin all alone**

**Pickin my mind and soul apart**

**!Chorus!**

**Used to believe in love**

**Used to believe in fairy tales**

**Since my heart's been crushed**

**Don't believe in much**

**I need help**

**Know which way to turn**

**And figure it out for myself**

**Just starting to learn**

**There's no such thing as fairytales**

**Not how the story's supposed to end**

**Unhappily ever after**

**Just as wonderful as it began**

**It carried on for a few chapters**

**The how come each time I open up**

**I can't seem to get past page one**

**I guess it's time for me to close up**

**And go back on the shelf because I'm done**

**!Chorus!**

**Twinkle twinkle little star**

**Why do my dreams seen so far**

**Up above the world so high**

**Won't somebody tell me why**

**Can you help me, can you help me out**

**Can you tell me what love is all about**

**Cause I've never known it for myself**

**That's why I don't believe in fairy tales**

**!Chorus!"**

Amelia had a fairly good singing voice, but Lily blew them away. Lily, of course, thought nothing of it, but people were staring at her as if she was Madonna. At 11:30, the 5 girls were too tired to dance anymore, so they headed back to Lily's room for a sleepover. Little did they know, the Marauders were having a sleepover of their own up in James's room.

Lily put on Lillix's CD super-loud, because it was one of their favorites. Since Lily and Leah were muggle-born, Lexie and Amelia were ½ and ½, and Ana was pureblood, they all liked to listen to a lot of muggle artists. Ana only liked them because that was all there was to borrow from her friends. The girls didn't know that Remus, Sirius, and James were all up in James's room, but they'd find out soon!


	5. Secrets Revealed!

Disclaimer: Grrr... fine. Here it is: It's JK Rowling's. NOT MINE. And an oops from Chapter 4: The Lillix and Kimberly Locke songs are in this chapter, not that one. Sorry if there was any confusion!

**Secrets Revealed!**

Lily decided to go downstairs to the fridge in their mini-common room. Singing part of Lillix's "It's About Time", she grabbed 5 bottles of butterbeer, and turned to go back to her room.

"I hate you, I love you 

**I just can't remember to**

**Forget you**

**Who are you, who needs you**

**You make me feel alive**--- Aaahh!"

Lily had turned around to find herself face-to-face with James; Remus and Sirius following behind him.

"Sorry- I didn't mean to-"started James.

"Sorry- I didn't see you, you just startled me!" said Lily, interrupting him.

"It's okay. What're you doing up so late?" he asked.

"Umm... getting some butterbeers for my friends," said Lily.

"Oh, okay. Can we join you? We've got nothing better to do," said James quickly.

"Uh... sure!" said Lily. They trooped up the stairs to Lily's room, where Lexie was doing a rater crazy rendition of Lillix's "Dirty Sunshine."

"You hit me 

**It all turns to sunshine, dirty sun...shine...** Lil, what are they doing here?" asked Lexie, shooting the boys a glare.

"They're here to be the audience for your performance, Lex," said Lily.

"Oh, okay! Well in that case, take a seat!" said Ana.

"C'mon Lils, let's do Wrong!" said Leah.

"Umm...that's alright," said Lily.

"C'mon!" said Leah, pulling Lily up with her. Amelia found the song, and Leah and Lily launched into the song by Kimberly Locke.

"...**I don't run and I don't hide**

**Behind a comforting disguise**

**What you see is what you get**

**I was so naïve to let you have control of me**

**But now that I believe in me I know**

**That you're wrong cause I'm strong**

**Unafraid**

**I'm moving on**

**Cause I'm free to be me**

Nobody tells me who to be!" 

Now Lily wasn't normally shy, nor was she outgoing. But maybe it was the 6 butterbeers she'd had at Purple Stars that made her decide not to care who she was performing in front of. Had she been sober, she _never_ would have gotten on stage earlier in Hogsmeade, let alone in front of the Marauders.

All three Marauders were in awe, but none more so that James. His mouth was hanging wide open, and you could see it all over his face how much he liked Lily. However, only Remus and Amelia noticed his state of shock. They looked from James to Lily, then at one another. Amelia sent Remus a look that clearly said, "He likes her, doesn't he?" Remus nodded, and they shared a smile together. When they were finished with their next song, Amelia said,

"Well, Remus, c'mon- lets go get some more to drink." They left the room, and when they got downstairs, Amelia pulled Remus down on the couch next to her and said,

"He likes her!"

"Yeah...so?"

"Well, they'd be perfect together!"

"Oh no- I'm not getting involved!"

"Oh...but I forgot... Lily's anti-boys now..."

"Why?"

"Well... last year, she dated Chris MacNair..."

"What happened?"

"Well... don't tell her I told you, but... she really liked him. And we all thought that he liked her too. So, last winter, he pressured to sneak up to his dorm one night... and she went... and they, well, erm, you know..." Remus nodded solemly.

"And then, right the next morning, he dumped her. It was awful." Remus looked horrified.

"Wow. I always thought he was rather shallow... so now she's against guys?"

"Yup. She vowed, right there and then, and I quote, 'All members of the male race are f-ing assholes, and they can burn in Hell! I'd rather be single for the rest of my life, anyways!'"

"But we're not all that shallow! Even Sirius would never have done that, and you know how he is." Sirius had a different girlfriend every week, and bragged about his snogging experience every chance he got.

"Yeah... so we need to change her mind!" exclaimed Amelia.

"How?"

"By showing her that James'd never do something like that to her... but how?" she said slowly.

"I dunno... but I'm too tired to think straight right now," said Remus.

"Yeah, me too."

"We's better get back upstairs."

"Yeah. Let's go."

:Back Upstairs:

"What took you so long?" asked Ana, who was sitting next to Sirius, and not noticing that he was scooting closer to her every few seconds. Lily yawned and said,

"Kay. Now can I go to sleep?"

"Sure. Nut can we stay?" asked Sirius.

"Mmm... yeah, I guess," said Lily, as she did a quick charm so that her bed was big enough for two. There were also three- two person sleeping bags lying on the floor.

"I get the bed!" said Lily. "Who wants to share?" Amelia and Remus grabbed a bag so they could talk, Leah and Lexie grabbed one too.

"I'm not sleeping with James- he snores!"

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Enough!" said Lily, climbing into her bed. Ana was already in the last sleeping bag.

"Argh... come on one of you," said Lily, spotting Ana fast asleep. Sirius promptly climbed in with Ana, and James looked hesitantly at Lily.

"Come on," said Lily angrily. James crawled into her bed, and soon after, fell asleep.

A/N: Okay! More soon! Review Review Review! Lots of luv, Anniebelle


	6. Confessions

Disclaimer: AHA! You caught me! I'm JK Rowling, and I lied! I'm 13! Honestly, if you believed this, you need some pills. Soon. Only the crap you don't recognize is mine. The songs are Vanessa Carlton's, and Avril Lavigne's.

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry if you don't like the way I use lyrics from songs in my story. But, I think that sometimes songs can describe how the characters are feeling a lot better than I can. I'm also sorry that you may not know all of the songs, but I do, and this is MY story, not yours. So if you really don't like them, then stop reading. I'm not forcing you! On a lighter note, I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed, and tell you that I love you! (I'm not a perv, I'm trying to be nice!) So here they are:

Quills 'N Ink: Thanks a ton! I'm glad you like it!

Aria-wolfstar: I'm sorry, but I've already written the next few chapters, but after that I will try not to be so song-ish! Thanks for reviewing!

SilverCrystal Thorns: Thanks! I will!

Eva Angel: heehee- I like JoJo too... especially "The Happy Song"! Heehee that song makes me laugh cause of the name... It sounds like it should be on Sesame Street! Thanks for reviewing!

Evenstar of the undyinglands: Thanks! If you know any other good Lily/James, I'd love to read them!

Angel-gurl: Aren't they cute! I like to write this ship the best cause you don't have to stay true to the books as much as with the other ships!

Kaelin Brooke Spar: Thanks!

MercuryEclipse: Thanks for reviewing! Umm... I'm not sure if you need a beta, but your stories are great! Please update soon! I understand fluffyness, I love fluffy!

Seven Salted French Fries: Thanks, but I think Wormtail is a little piece of $hit, so he's not gonna be in here! Sorry if I disappointed you!

Tekvah Ariel: I know Avril wasn't around in their time, but I liked the song. I'm sorry if this story struck you as to be a song fic, but I never meant for it to be like that! I will try not to use songs very often, but that's just my style of writing.

Chibs3000: Thanks!

Anochera: Well, I can't update as often as I'd like to, (and that would be every day), because when my mom's not at work, I can't be on the computer for very long. But when she is at work, I try to update!

Vickiicky: Yay! Me too, so if you'd like to read some, go to my favorite stories section in my bio! I'll try to add more often!

Oliverwoodkicksass: I know, I don't like the way Lily is portrayed in most fics. So I decided to write one on how I thought she should be!

**Confessions**

Lily woke to discover James's arm around her. He was still asleep, but Lily was so angry, as she shoved him roughly aside to get up, that she didn't care if he woke up or not. She wasn't really as angry as she was scared, even though she knew he hadn't done it on purpose. James finally came to just in time to see tears pouring down Lily's face as she closed and locked the door to her bathroom. He heard her start the water, and then a CD. It wasn't very loud, but it was just loud enough so that he could make out the words.

**Once upon a year gone by**

**She saw herself give in**

**Every time she closed her eyes**

**She saw what could have been**

**Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds**

**When covers tucked in tight**

**Funny when the bottom drops **

**How she forgets to fight... to fight**

**And it's one more day in paradise**

**One more day in paradise**

**As darkness quickly steals the light**

**That shined within her eyes**

**She slowly swallows all her fears**

**And soothes her mind with lies**

**Well all she wants and all she needs **

**Are reasons to survive**

**A day in which the sun will take **

**Her artificial light... her light...**

The song suddenly stopped, and then a different one started. As the first few notes waivered out, he heard the drops of water hitting her skin as she stepped into the shower.

**I cannot find a way to describe it**

**It's there inside**

**All I do is hide**

**I wish that it would just go away**

**What would you do**

**You do if you knew**

**What would you do**

**All the pain **

**I thought I knew**

**All the thoughts lead back to you**

**Back to what**

**Was never said**

**Back and forth **

**Inside my head**

**I can't handle this confusion**

**I'm unable come and take me away**

**I feel like I am all alone**

**All by myself**

**I need to get around this**

**My words are cold**

**I don't want them to hurt you**

**If I show you**

**I don't think you'd understand**

**Cause no one understands...**

He was both saddened and confused by her choice of music. Why was she crying? Was she angry? When he heard the water go off, he silently slid out of her bed, and crept over to her bathroom door. He listened to see if she was still crying, and didn't think she was. He knocked softly on the door.

"Lily?" he whispered. She opened the door a crack, wrapped in just a towel.

"What?" Lily asked gently.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Mmm..." she replied, opening the door so he could come in.

"Are you... okay? I woke up and... you were crying,"

"Oh... I was just... scared. I'm alright now. Thanks though,"

"What scared you?"

"Umm... something happened that made me think of... something that happened last year..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really..."

"Oh, okay. But if you ever do..."

"Yeah. Thanks," said Lily. They sat for a moment in silence, but then James said,

"You have a great voice." Lily blushed crimson, and then he said,

"You're one amazing girl, you know that Evans?" James kissed her quickly on the cheek, and swiftly left the room. Only once he had shut the door again did Lily smile.

-I'm amazing, huh? Well he's more confusing than one of Lexie's lectures on Divination! And why did he kiss me?!?- Lily kept herself busy thinking about this as she dressed, blow-dried her hair, and applies some mascara.

-Today,- she though, -Is going to be one Hell of a confusing day.-

After breakfast, which went surprisingly well, Ana came up to Lily on their way to Charms to say,

"Guess what, Lily? Sirius asked me out!" Lily knew that Sirius hadn't had a girlfriend since last year, so she hoped that this meant that he was doing better.

"Awesome!" said Lily, happy for both of them. It was later, in Charms, when Professor McGonagal told James and Lily of their next assignment as the Heads: to plan their next ball. They were both very excited about it, and after classes and homework, at 10:30 PM, they sat down to begin planning it. James yawned and said,

"So, should partners be required?"

"No! There's no way I'm going with a boy!"

"Why? Oh, you're a lesbian, I forgot!" Lily kicked James for this.

"I'm not a lesbian!"

"Well, you know, you sure seem like it sometimes! I mean, you haven't had a boyfriend since, like, last year. And that wasn't for very long, either."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"He... he raped me."

"What?!?"

"There! Are you happy now? You wouldn't want a boyfriend after that either." And with that, Lily left the common room, and headed up to the privacy of her own room; as tears had filled her eyes as she told him the truth.

It was hard for Lily to recall such an event, because she really believed that Chris loved her. They had been dating for 6 ½ months, and he treated her like a goddess. However, as he was Lily's first serious boyfriend, and as she was 16, she pushed aside any thought of him having been rushing things. Now, however, Lily was so hurt by his breaking up with her the morning after, that she just assumed that all guys were like this, and only dated girls for their looks. She figured that they just used them, and abused them, and then swapped them out for a new one.

James, on the other hand, had had no idea about what had happened to Lily, but now, her choice of music earlier made sense. He had just though that she didn't want a boyfriend right now. Now that he knew the truth, however, he decided that he would do whatever he could to try and make her see that he would never treat her that way. For the smallest glimmer of hope that he had left in his heart that said Lily could still fall in love with him, had grown just a tiny bit. Surely she must at least think of him as a friend. She _had_ been there for him when he needed someone to talk to, and now he had also found out one of her secrets. He knew that she might have a few more secrets, but he would have to do something in return for her if he wanted to know them. For now, he'd have to wait until morning to apologize to her for making her remember. Still feeling rather guilty, confused, and stunned all at the same time, he fell asleep on his bed, fully dressed, thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

A/N: Okay! Now, I need you guys to Review, review, review! I will try and update tomorrow, because my mom has to work then too! Lots of luv, Anniebelle


	7. Wanting You So Desperately

_Disclaimer: The boring crap is mine. The rest is not. Period. "The Happy Song" is JoJo's, and "Desperately" is Michelle Branch's._

A/N: Hey guys!!! I'm sorry that I can't update as often as I would like to, but I am also having a case of writer's block on this story right now, and I'm running out of stuff that's prewritten to post! So if you have any ideas, feel free to tell me about them in a review, and, who knows! I might end up using them! This chapter is dedicated to my BFFE, Swapna, because she started reading my story! Thanks Sup! I LYLAS! So, now here is chapter seven!

Wanting You So Desperately 

Feeling rather achey and miserable, Lily slowly clambered out of bed. She wasn't excited about planning the ball anymore. It seemed like a waste of time now. Pulling on jeans and a tee-shirt with "Boys Lie and Kind of Smell" on it, she headed downstairs to work on homework. Surprisingly, when she got down there, she found James hard at work on the dance plans. He was still I his pajamas, a pair of boxers, and didn't look up until she came and sat next to him on the couch.

"Put some clothes on, for God's sake! No one wants to look at that!" said Lily.

"Sorry," he said absentmindedly.

"Listen," she started, but he wasn't paying attention.

"Hey," she said softly, putting her hand on his so he couldn't keep writing.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. It's just..." she said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too," he said, putting his arms around her to comfort her as she sobbed into his shoulder. As Lily's sobs got further apart and more relaxed, James slowly let go of her. He would have rather never let go, but he'd have to think of a way for her to fall in love with him first, if he wanted that to happen. Once Lily was calm and had stopped crying, she leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear,

"Thanks for always being here for me when I need a friend the most. I know I can always count on you." Kissing him softly on the cheek, Lily rose slowly from the couch, and headed back up to her room. Once her door was shut, and the music started, James listened closely to the words, and found that Lily was still thinking about him. He was thinking about her, too.

Nothing makes me more happy Than to know that I have Such a close friend To know that you'll downfall Me is reassuring It's the reason I'm always smiling   
When I'm kickin it with you I have a lot of fun with you There's never any kind of pressure Coming from you Tryin to get me to do Anything I'm not ready to That's why I really like you   
Da da da da da Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da You make me happy So very happy...   
The rest of their Saturday passed peacefully, but Lily couldn't seem to get James's face out of her head. Frustrated and unable to sleep, despite it being 1:30 AM, Lily headed down to their common room to think, pillow in hand. Finally, at 2:15 AM, she fell asleep on the couch. However, when James came down about two hours later to get a glass of water, Lily was shivering like mad. Seeing that she didn't have a blanket, and as it was quite chilly downstairs compared to his bedroom, he tried to think of a way to warm her up without waking her from her peaceful slumber. Going carefully so as not to wake her, he picked her up in his arms, carried her up to her room, tucked her into bed, and just before leaving the room, kissed her gently on the forehead. As he pulled away, she smiled in her sleep, and knew he just had to change her mind.   
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
The next morning, Lily woke with a start, remembering that today was another Hogsmeade weekend. The girls had made plans to shop for dresses, and wanted to leave early. She dressed quickly, and headed down to the common room to find James waiting for her. 

"Hey," she said calmly.

"Morning," he said, sending her a charming smile. Lily returned it, and it made his heart flip. He started to mentally hum a song he'd listened to on Leah's CD he borrowed.

Something bout the way you looked at me 

**Made me think for a moment**

**That maybe we were meant to be**

**Livin our lives separately**

**And it's strange how things change **

**But not me wanting you so desperately**

"Are you going to Hogsmeade today?" he asked.

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Mmhmm. Wanna get a butterbeer later?"

"Sure. How's four-fifteen?"

"I'll see you then!" he said, jumping for joy inside.

Oh why can't I ignore it 

**I keep givin in but I should know better**

**Cause there was something bout the way you looked at me**

**And it's strange how things change**

**But not me wanting you so desperately**

Lily met her girls in the Great Hall, and after each grabbing a slice of toast, they headed out to do some serious shopping.

As the five girls entered the dress shop, one dress in the corner immediately caught Lily's eye. It was jade green, strapless, and had a straight skirt. As all the other girls went their separate ways, Lily grabbed her size, and headed to the dressing rooms. After trying it on, and seeing that it hugged her curves in all the right places and wasn't too low-cut, but showed a tiny bit of cleavage, Lily went to find the dressing rooms her friends were in. Amelia, the first to come out, had selected a slim, floor-length, plain black dress with silver spaghetti straps. She looked like the true Queen of Gothic Glam. Ana was in a knew-length halter dress that was blood red with sequined flowers on the top half. Leah was in a short purple dress, with lavender sequined straps, and a line tracing her torso with the lines of a laced up corset made out of sequins. Lexie was in a royal blue, which complimented her eyes, and made her look tall, despite her petite figure. All five looked stunning, but none more so than the fair flower herself, Lily Evans. Done with finding their dresses, the girls went shopping for jewelry and shoes and such. At around four, Lily bid her friends goodbye, and headed across the village to the Leaky Cauldron to meet James. For some reason now days, she found herself thinking about him more and more. Now entering the pub, she looked around for him, and found him sitting in a corner booth, staring out the window.

A/N: Cliffie!!! Duh duh duh!!! JK- I'm just stuck, and so now I need ideas to help me finish the rest! I need inspiration! Well I'll try to do some serious writing, and have more for you soon! Love you's lots! And don't forget: REVIEW!!!! Thanks!!! Luv, Anniebelle


	8. Discovering Herself

Diaclaimer: It's not mine. Any of it, except for the characters and crap you don't recognize. It's the most amazing author in the world's, JK Rowling.

A/N: Hey hey hey! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I've been super busy with school and all kinds of crazy stuff! But here's a new chapter for you guys! I love you all!

Lily calmly walked over to where James was sitting. It wasn't until she sat down next to him that he saw her. He smiled in greeting, and she said "Hey," in return.

"Hi, Lily. Did you have fun?"

"Yes," she replied, "We got all of our outfits bought for the dance."

"That's good. I can't believe it's tomorrow already!"

"I know," she said. "Who are you going with?"

"Well... actually, no one. What about you?" he asked.

"I'm not going with anyone, either. But I did hear a rumor that we are supposed to open the dance together."

"Really... I heard that, too. It makes sense, seeing as we are the Heads."

"Yeah. I figured we could go ask Dumbledore to find out for sure later tonight."

"That's fine. I don't mind opening it with you, even if you are just an arrogant prick."

"Really? Is that what you think of me?" asked James sadly.

"No, I'm just kidding! You're not an arrogant prick at all! Well, at least not anymore," Lily said with a smile.

"Good. I really hoped that wasn't all you thought of me as."

"Of course not. You're a really great friend, an excellent listener, and very responsible. That doesn't sound like a prick to me." James smiled at her compliment.

"Thanks."

"What about Sirius and Remus? Who are they going with?" Lily asked.

"Well, Remus is going with Amelia, he told me he asked her earlier. And Sirius and Ana broke up, so now I think he's going with Swapna, that pretty Indian girl in 6th year. Apparently she just got back from India, and had to miss the first couple weeks of term because she was visiting her family."

"Oh, I've met her. She's really sweet. I hope she doesn't get too attached to Sirius."

"Yeah... Most girls have enough common sense not to hope for much in a relationship with him."

"Mmmhmm..." replied Lily, yawning.

"Do you want to get going? It's getting kind of late."

"Sure. Let's head back."

So Lily and James headed back to Hogwarts, and upon leaving the pub, they discovered that it was very chilly outside. Lily shivered, and James put his arm around her to help keep her warm. Once back inside the castle, he removed his arm as she whispered a quick "Thanks." Heading back up to their dorm after a long day, Lily was startled to discover that she hadn't minded having James's arm around her at all. Coming to think about it, she rather liked it. Crawling into her bed after a hot shower, Lily snuggled into her blankets, wondering about James, and why she didn't feel nervous around him, as she normally did with any other guy.

A/N: yes, I know, It's kind of short, but I will try to post another chapter yet tonight since it's Friday. Thanks for reading! Luv ya Sup! Lots of luv, Anniebelle


	9. The Ball!

Disclaimer: From now on, I'm only doing one of these ever couple of chapters. They're annoying. It's not mine. The end.

A/N: Here it is: Chapter 9! I decided to post another chapter tonight for you guys, but you have to PROMISE to REVIEW! Otherwise, I won't be as MOTIVATED ::hint hint:: to post as often!

**The Ball**

James awoke the next morning with excitement pulsing through his veins. –Today's the ball, and I get to dance with Lily!-

He thought, as he hurried to get dressed. He knew that it would be rather empty for breakfast today, as none of the girls would come to eat, claiming that they had too much to do to get ready for their big night.

Lily woke to the noise of someone banging very loudly on her door. Groggily getting out of bed, she opened the door and was immediately thrust aside by Lexie, followed by Ana, Amelia, Leah, and Swapna. As Lily gave a questioning glance to Leah about Swapna, she quickly explained,

"I told her since she was going with Sirius, that she could get ready with us." Lily nodded in agreement, and the girls set off to prepare themselves for the upcoming event, even though it was only 9:00 AM and the ball wasn't until 6:00 PM that night.

! Later that night ! 

James, Remus, and Sirius waited downstairs in the common room for the girls to make their grand arrival and finally come down the stairs. At 5:55 PM, they heard a voice calling,

"Okay, just a minute!" Then, they saw a stunning girl in a sleek red dress coming down the stairs. Her Dark hair curled and then pulled up in a seemingly effortless style, Ana made her way down Lily's staircase. Sirius tried not to look too interested, but failed miserably, and wondered how he could have ever dumped her just the day before. Next was Amelia, in what could be called a not-so-normal version of the Little Black Dress, her hair half up in a sleek bun, who came down, and went over to take her place on Remus's arm. Swapna was next, her hair simply left down, though it was elegantly straight and shiny, in a long golden dress, which accented her dark skin perfectly. Taking her spot on Sirius's arm, they watched as Leah came down next. Wearing her favorite color, and her thick hair left down, she stood next to Ana, waiting for the next, Lexie. Lexie was wearing a lovely royal blue, her highlighted hair tightly up in clip, where her ends were left to hang down over top of the clip, making her hair seem longer than it really was. And finally, Lily made her way down the stairs, draped in her jade green dress that made her look so outstanding. Her long red hair was left down, but slightly curled at the ends that reached to the top of her butt. Taking James's arm with a smile, they made their way to the Great Hall for a feast, and then their dance. Lily was rather relieved that they had decided to make the feast first, as she had eaten scarcely anything all day, and was starving. They all sat down together, and after they were finished with their food, Dumbledore rose to his feet and said,

"Thank you for being here tonight. First of all, would the Head Girl and Boy please come out to the dance floor to start us off. We would like to thank them for all of their hard work on making think event a success for us all. Thank you. And now, would our Heads please officially open this ball for Hogwarts by leading us in this first dance."

Lily and James came out onto the dance floor, and James took Lily's hand in his. Wrapping his arm around her waist, and Lily placing hers around him, they smiled at each other as they waited for the music to start. A moderate song came on, and James started to lead her around the floor. Lily was amazed at how good of a dancer he was, as he had never seemed the type to be skilled in this area. After a few dances, they headed off of the floor to get something to drink, and to rest for a moment.

"Well, that went well," said James.

"Yeah, you're a good dancer," said Lily rather shyly.

"Thanks. You're pretty good yourself." Lily smiled, and they sat and talked for a while. They talked of their futures, friends, schoolwork, and all sorts of things. (A/N: I won't bother to bore you by listing them in detail.) At around 10:30 PM, after a few more songs, Dumnbledore announced that the dance was coming to a close. After the last dance, everyone left, except for Lily and James, because they though that they had to stay and help clean up. The music was still playing as they each said a few cleaning spells, and the Great Hall was restored to it's normal order.

"One more dance?" asked James, after they were finished.

"One more can't hurt," said Lily, taking his hand as he led her out to the biggest open space. All alone together, they danced to a slow song. As the song came to a close, James's eyes met Lily's, and he leaned in to gently kiss her on the lips. Smiling after they had broken apart, they quietly headed back up to their dorm, hand-in-hand.

A/N: AWWWWWW! Hee hee- that's all for now! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Lots a luv! Anniebelle


	10. A New Beginning Hopefully

A/N: OMG wow. I am truly super sorry for never posting on this story anymore. I'm gonna try to more often… but my life is hectic. But the other day I logged in and I was like OMG I have 50 reviews!!!! I was like screaming OH NO! Now they all hate me!!!!! So I will try to update more often… but I'm writing off the top of my head now, so bear with me. PLEASE KEEP READING!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 10: **A New Beginning… Hopefully**

Later that evening after the dance, Lily lay in bed, unable to sleep. She couldn't get him out of her head. She knew it was wrong and totally against her better judgment to like him… but there was just something…different to him. James was someone she felt safe with, in his arms, in his presence. Sure, he was a guy, but hadn't he always been there for her when she needed him? He was always right there by her side, offering her a shoulder to cry on. Lily loved the way he smelled, that sweet, musky, manly scent. His arms, chest, his entire body was muscular from Quidditch, but not overly bulging, as if he was trying too hard. And, he liked her. He had showed her that tonight, for sure. Lily decided that he wouldn't have kissed her if he didn't feel something for her, no matter how tiny. And she liked him too. Drifting off to sleep comfortably, dreaming of lying in his arms, Lily could only hope that the next morning wouldn't be too awkward, and that something new and pleasant would spring from it.

The next morning James awoke with motivation from the previous evening to persuade him to do the thing he'd always dreamed of: to ask the girl of his dreams, Lily Evans, to be his girlfriend. He'd thought about it all that night after they'd kissed, and never stopped thinking about her, not even in his dreams. He knew now that she liked him in return, as he figured that if she didn't, she wouldn't have kissed him back. Dressing quickly and practically running down the staircase to their common room, he couldn't wait to hear her answer to his question. Seeing that she wasn't up yet, however, caused him to start to worry. What if she was just being polite? What if she really didn't like him the way he yearned for her? Would she never want to speak to him again if he asked her and she refused? As Lily came down the stairs ten minutes later, James decided that there was no time for worry, and he might as well jump for the challenge.

As James patted the seat next to him on the couch, wanting Lily to sit down next to him, he decided it was now or never. Lily smiled at the excitement clearly visible in his eyes, wondering what was the cause of it. She loved how you could tell whatever he was thinking just by looking into his eyes, and how it was a strange and reassuring comfort to her. As she gently took her place next to him, he hesitantly placed his arm around her shoulders, and then slowly slid it down to around her tiny waist. She looked at him and he smiled nervously, and Lily laid her head on his chest, hoping it would reassure him that she was comfortable and at ease around him. He took in a deep breath, and Lily wondered why he was acting so strangely. James looked into her eyes, and struggled for the words.

"Lily… I wanted to know…" he started. Lily nodded and gave him a small smile, trying to convince him to go on. She wanted to know what was bothering him.

"Lily, I really like you… and last night… I had so much fun. You're one hell of an amazing girl, and if you were to say yes, then I'd be one hell of a lucky guy. Lily, what I'm trying to say is… Will you go out with me?"

Lily smiled so largely that James couldn't help but grin back at her.

"Of course, James. I'd love to be your girlfriend!" Lily replied excitedly. James simply smiled wider, and pulled her closer to him. Lily tilted her head toward him, and gently kissed him on the lips, enjoying just being near him. When they broke apart, Lily snuggled up closer to James, breathing deeply as to take in his scent. Now she was content, knowing that he was all hers.

A/N: Sorry guys, that's all I have time for right now! REVIEW!!! LYL, Anniebelle 3


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